Could Girls beat Boys at Bear Grylls Survival Island ?Video .The new TV Programme ‘The Island’ (Channel 4 UK ) with Eaton Educated Bear Grylls evokes childhood memories of Swiss Family Robinson and Robinson Crusoe .In fact it is ‘the Island’ without Bear Grylls (who leaves them to it )and the 13 men marooned on a Pacific Island do not appear to be doing very well. So why no women – would they do better ?!
It’s called The Island With Bear Grylls (Channel 4) but Bear’s not the centre of attention this time. Or even on the island. He’s just presenting, in the Ant’n’Dec role if this is I’m A Nobody Get Me Out Of Here (of course Bear is man enough to play two men). He’s also the boat driver, delivering 13 ordinary British geezers to their remote Pacific island, then dumping them there, for a month.
Marooned on The Island without Bear Grylls ( Channel 4 UK ) -www.seamepost.com
More like Survivor, then, than I’m (Not) A Celebrity, but also purer and properer than that too, because this is not a game; there are no rules, no food or luxuries or exemptions to be won. There aren’t even any camera crews; this lot don’t just have to fend for themselves, hunt and gather, they have to film themselves too. It’s about as close as television has got to Lord of the Flies, and it’s absolutely fascinating because of it. Probably quite cheap too – once you’ve paid for Bear (who must cost less after the fakery scandals) and the boat, there’s very little else, not even a box of matches.
What, no women, some are asking. No, because it’s about the crisis in modern masculinity, apparently. “British men have lost the skills that were once passed down from father to son,” says Bear. Boo, says the booers. Girls have skillz, and survive, too.
You know what? I think it’s OK. Not because survival is a men-only thing; I’m just thinking about it as television. If there were women about it would be something different. They’d probably make sensible decisions, be fair and democratic and good team players and establish community, grow crops etc. Whereas a bunch of blokes, and not just blokes but blokes who think they’re in crisis about their blokiness, are going to be painting their faces and waving their willies in the air, forming rival tribes and camps, going to war, possibly even eating each other. Hopefully. I mean how many girls were there in Lord of the Flies? Exactly. There, I’ve settled it.
Initially it doesn’t look super promising. Our blokes – a call centre worker, a sheep farmer, a hairdresser, a neurosurgeon among them – are blokey in an amiable 21st-century way. They banter and bond. They’re immediately open too. Someone is gay; brilliant, well done mate. Someone else has a swastika tattoo; no problem at all, it was just a moment of madness. No willies being waved in the air yet.
But Yorkshire pragmatist Tony has the potential to be annoying. “I suggest we get in single file,” he says. “It’s pointless us all wondering off in different directions.” He’s also (especially annoyingly) right – about this, and about strongly opposing a plan to wade round the outside of the crocodile-infested mangrove (even the swamps are sexist) with the tide coming up. The others are accepting him with good humour, for now. But after two days of trying, and failing, to make fire, their meagre clean water supply – along with patience – is running dangerously short. They sort the fire eventually, but they still haven’t eaten. Goodwill and benevolence aren’t often born out of intense hunger, and Tony could be hard to stomach on an empty one.
What did Tony do before he retired? Police officer. Ha! See, it’s perfect. Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in! When Bear lands back on the beach in a month’s time, like the naval officer at the end of Lord of the Flies, and traumatised skinny men start to emerge like zombies from the burnt forest – stripped of the clothes, their innocence, their morality and their humanity – my guess is the one who doesn’t appear will be Tony.
They won’t have eaten him. You wouldn’t, would you, choose the 70-year-old, if there was younger meat available? Careful Dean: you’d look good on a spit over the fire. Mmm … tastes a bit like chicken. Or is it pork? What about sacrifice? To appease The Beast maybe? Is a month long enough for weirdness to set in? It’ll be fascinating to see.
Unless, on a hunting expedition, some of our more adventurous castaways stumble across the island’s real – and arguably darker – secret. I’m talking about the luxury Sandals beach resort where Bear Grylls is entertaining Channel 4 executives with stories of his own heroics, over cocktails at the bar.
Source : The Guardian -Sam Woolaston
Eaton Educated Bear Grylls – lives on his own Island in Wales ! -www.seamepost.com
Bear Grylls has admitted the men marooned on an island in his latest TV offering could have died during filming.
Bear Grylls was appointed Chief Scout in 2009 and has three sons – Jesse , Marmaduke and Huckleberry.He lives on a Barge on The River Thames in London and on an Island of Wales in the Country.
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